Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
