Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
