I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
