youre lurking in front of me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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