I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
