have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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