Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection

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  (734): Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection http://tfl.nu/jo45
  Replies (6) Good night (788) Bad night (1001)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.

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  (402): So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing. http://tfl.nu/7on0
  Replies (38) Good night (3160) Bad night (855)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.

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  (301): All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order. http://tfl.nu/n0bh
  Replies (12) Good night (979) Bad night (3760)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.

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  (320): I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me. http://tfl.nu/008l
  Replies (12) Good night (1114) Bad night (4642)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.

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  (516): I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy. http://tfl.nu/zkq5
  Replies (24) Good night (2255) Bad night (4700)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?

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  (807): I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight? http://tfl.nu/7h08
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (3902)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.

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  (315): I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism. http://tfl.nu/5nmw
  Replies (8) Good night (3735) Bad night (1116)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.

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  (313): you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/cddz
  Replies (9) Good night (5019) Bad night (1450)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source

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  (813): literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source http://tfl.nu/0y8j
  Replies (14) Good night (1137) Bad night (3671)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.

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  (928): His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart. http://tfl.nu/4aul
  Replies (7) Good night (698) Bad night (2556)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings

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  (845): I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings http://tfl.nu/ny97
  Replies (12) Good night (937) Bad night (1073)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.

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  (904): im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hp85
  Replies (5) Good night (898) Bad night (561)
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  (310): View more from California

  Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.

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  (310): Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts. http://tfl.nu/j0t2
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (379)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.

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  (865): Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night. http://tfl.nu/r05q
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (361)
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  (456): View more from

  ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.

  (345): View more from Cayman Islands

  I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for

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  (456): ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will. (345): I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for http://tfl.nu/636s
  Replies (2) Good night (231) Bad night (32)

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