so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.