I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
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There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?