Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?