My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.