yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
