This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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