if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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