until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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