it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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