you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
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Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
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MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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