I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
