Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i already hear my dad disowning me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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