Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
