The beer is more important than you right now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize