no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
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we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
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got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...