ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
