meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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