I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize