you turned your livingroom into a bong?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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