spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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