Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
