he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
