I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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