You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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