im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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