I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
