is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
