you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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