I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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