there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
