I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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