Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
