Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
