i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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