Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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