And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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