i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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