her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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