I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We need to get me chipped asap
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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