You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you had me at cake vodka
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I still have a little drunk in my system
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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