I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize