I must be too annoying 4 u.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize