I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
