i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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