Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize