dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
