Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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