I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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