You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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