I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
