So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
