i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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