butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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