I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
