Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
