I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
